Everybody hurts

As much as I'd love to say i'm coming round to being ok with the death of my uncle...i realise how much that i'm not...just thinking, 'you know what? i'm not feeling grief anymore!' Reminds me more that...he is gone! He'll never be there to hug, to talk to, to chat to about random crap and, quite honestly, amazingly sad stuff that to you, seems like just another rubbish hobby that sad old men sit and do in their free time in order just to pass their sad sorry lives...to me and him, it was an art, it was a passion.
It seems now that...all i've done was due to him...without realising it, he was the one of the most influential people in my life! I look at all my models that i've painted...even ones that he helped me to paint and often find myself staring at them...wondering...pondering...'What would he do to make this perfect?'
The most painful thing about it all?? Whenever i'd finish a model i'd always be so excited to show him just how much better i'd made it and then he'd just tell me to do one more thing and it'd be immense! But now...my collection isn't going to be able to have his little touch on it...it's only ever going to have my touch...my touch that was still being refined by him.

But what can i do?? as R.E.M. sang at his funeral..."Everybody hurts sometimes" But i know, after all, he'll always be there, to guide me, over my shoulder, giving me little pointers along the way because lets face it "If you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you are not alone"

Everybody Hurts-R.E.M.


When your day is long and the night 
The night is yours alone
When you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on
Don't let yourself go 
Everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes

Sometimes everything is wrong 
Now it's time to sing along
When your day is night alone (hold on, hold on)
If you feel like letting go (hold on)
When you think you've had too much of this life, well hang on

Everybody hurts 
Take comfort in your friends.
Everybody hurts
Don't throw your hand. Oh, no
Don't throw your hand
If you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you are not alone

If you're on your own in this life 
The days and nights are long
When you think you've had too much of this life to hang on

Well, everybody hurts sometimes
Everybody cries
And everybody hurts sometimes
And everybody hurts sometimes
So, hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on 
Hold on, hold on 
(Hold on, hold on)

Everybody hurts 
You are not alone